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15th March 2010

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Dear Dave, You talked about yourself constantly — well past the getting-to-know-you point. You told me you didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day only after I gave you a gift. Seriously, just buy a $3.00 box of chocolates. For my birthday you sent me a lovely… wait for it… text message. Enjoy your $400 sheets. Alone.

Dear Dave,

You talked about yourself constantly — well past the getting-to-know-you point. You told me you didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day only after I gave you a gift. Seriously, just buy a $3.00 box of chocolates. For my birthday you sent me a lovely… wait for it… text message. Enjoy your $400 sheets. Alone.