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1st March 2010

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Dear Brian, Thanks for calling me up on Valentine’s Day to apologize for your grand, sweeping  fuck-ups and pervasive emotional unavailability when we were together. That was really big of you. I especially liked the part where you told me I was the best girlfriend you ever had and that the split wasn’t my fault. You could have stopped there, but of course you didn’t. You went on to proudly proclaim that the mistakes you made with me have made you a really good boyfriend to your current girlfriend. Well, la-di-fucking-da, Captain Learning Curve. Maybe it would have been more appropriate to have your girlfriend call to thank me for all the hard work I put in since she’s the one reaping the benefit. Rainbows and teddy bears,   XXXX

Dear Brian,

Thanks for calling me up on Valentine’s Day to apologize for your grand, sweeping  fuck-ups and pervasive emotional unavailability when we were together. That was really big of you. I especially liked the part where you told me I was the best girlfriend you ever had and that the split wasn’t my fault.

You could have stopped there, but of course you didn’t. You went on to proudly proclaim that the mistakes you made with me have made you a really good boyfriend to your current girlfriend. Well, la-di-fucking-da, Captain Learning Curve. Maybe it would have been more appropriate to have your girlfriend call to thank me for all the hard work I put in since she’s the one reaping the benefit.

Rainbows and teddy bears,   XXXX